Of Single Mothers by Choice

Many more women who earn enough on their own to provide well for a child should become “single mothers by choice”. To most people that sounds crazy at best, morally outrageous at worst. Yes, ideally every child would be raised by both a loving father and a loving mother and be the product of a passionate marriage, but that’s not real life. What if you can’t find a suitable man? Should you then give up your dreams of having a family? Or, worse yet, “marry down”? No. Girls who have worked hard to be independent and accomplished deserve men superior to them, not just the mediocre members of the fair sex; if no such man can be found, it’s better to go without a man.

Taking the real Red Pill

A big reason is that women find it hard to love or even respect a man who earns less than they do. No matter how much the masses bleat “marry down!”, they cannot change the truth: the man earning less than the woman is one of the greatest risk factors for divorce, and even such couples who do manage to stay together are disproportionately unhappy and bereft of passion. A certain kind of conservative revels in this fact: if you’re a high-achieving woman, they want you to suffer, be it through spinsterdom or putting up with inferior men. Escaping this Scylla and Charybdis scenario they’ve created for women who dare to achieve anything drives them crazy.

My take? If you can find a man to love and be the father of your children, that’s wonderful, but don’t allow yourself to be held captive to some notion of Christian morality that was only designed to keep you down, don’t allow yourself to be limited in the name of an ideal you’ll never achieve. If you can’t live up to it, there are other, better choices.

What of the difficulty of single motherhood, you might ask? Yes, it’s a hard life, but if you have the financial resources to provide for a child, as at least the 10% of American women who earn over $100,000 a year certainly do, is it really any harder than building a life with someone you don’t even love and can’t respect, or living with the pain of an empty womb, the anguish of a murdered dream, for the rest of your life? I for one say no.

Consider my distaff Counterpart

I’ve given this some thought because of my own situation in life. I’m a man, not a woman, so that makes my options somewhat different, but consider my distaff counterpart: someone who’s just like me, but a woman. She’d be an ideal candidate for single motherhood by choice.

I know I’d make a great parent, I’d like to have a big bunch of children, I know they’d have the best qualities and be fine additions to the world we live in, and I’ve got enough money to provide well for them, yet to do it the normal way imposes the prerequisite of sharing my life with someone else. I find very few members of the opposite sex attractive enough to even want to date them, let alone make them my forever beloved and have children with them. I’m 28 years old, and have never come remotely close to finding my special someone, so my outlook for finding them anytime soon seems bleak; it’s very possible I’ll never find such a person.

As a man I lack a womb, so I’d have to resort to surrogacy to have children alone, something I can just as easily do when I’m older. The biggest advantage of being a man? If I have to wait even twenty more years to find my dream girl, that’s okay; if I start having children at 48, I can have all the little ones I want the natural way. So it’s probably worthwhile for me to wait and keep putting myself out there, at least for another decade or two.

If I were a woman, though? Women don’t have that luxury. If I were a woman, I’d plan on becoming a single mother by choice in the near future. If I started now, and had a baby every two years, I could have seven children by the age of 40. I’m sure there are significant numbers of women in exactly my situation; indeed, they seem to be the norm over at the single mothers by choice subreddit. See this thread. Reading through that, I feel like I’m these women’s spear counterpart; they feel and think the same way I do.


We’re the people others like to focus on when they whine about how low the birth rates are these days; a big reason is not a lack of desire for children, but a lack of ability to find suitable partners, because we actually have standards. Now that we have (and have had for decades!) a way to overcome that obstacle, do people embrace it as the powerful, progressive, liberating solution that it is? No, of course not: they whine about that too!

Want children? Can’t find anybody good to have them with? Have more than enough money to make up for going solo? I suspect deep down you already know what you need to do: ignore the haters, shed their stigmas, and fulfill your destiny.

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