What would, from the perspective of a man, be the perfect woman? How can one approach that ideal? Rarely is the question of who a woman should become in life put in those terms, and for understandable reasons, yet using “the perfect woman” as a starting point can yield surprising and potentially quite useful insights that may help men and women alike lead much better lives.
When I say “perfect woman” I don’t mean something like the “superwoman” ideal, where a woman is supposed to somehow have enough energy and hours in the day to give 100% to being both a hard-charging professional and a devoted wife and mother, something that takes more energy and waking hours than any human being of either sex possesses; no, I mean as perfect as the best woman in the world could realistically be.
Breaking Down “the Perfect Woman”
We might begin to answer this question by contemplating what men want in women. By far the most obvious, and (loathe as most are to admit it) the most important, is physical beauty and sexual attraction. People are basically born with their looks, so obviously the perfect woman for a man would first and foremost be as genetically blessed as the likes of Helen of Troy or Emma Hamilton.
That’s not much help to women who lack such gifts, but even the Helens and Emmas of the world benefit substantially from taking care of their bodies and presenting themselves in an appealing fashion through their hairstyling, makeup, clothing, jewelry, and accessories, and that is within the power of any woman to control, a power that if she wants to be as perfect as her genetics allow she must use.
Much the same applies to a woman’s personality and demeanor as well; the essentials of one’s personality are fixed, but a woman can cultivate an environment for herself where her best traits come to the fore (in particular removing stressors that bring out her worst traits), make an effort to accentuate certain qualities and suppress some others. So what kind of appearance and personality goals should women set for themselves if they want to be perfect?
Feminine Companionship: the true Way?
A surprisingly definite answer can be found by looking at escorts; call girls, after all, make a living by being women for men, the most expensive ones having the traits men most desire and heavily demand. Men, many of whom already have wives at home, pay these women hundreds of dollars an hour to be graced by their presence. So what exactly are these ladies of the night offering that makes them so desirable?
In a word: companionship. Sex might be the first thing to come to mind, but it’s telling that one of the most ubiquitous phrases in the business is the “girlfriend experience”; the best call girls offer sex as the beating heart of their services, yes, but there’s a lot more to them than just that.
Also telling is how the phrase is “girlfriend experience”, not “wife experience” or even “hookup experience”. I’d be the first to say that wifehood and husbandhood should be the most joyous pleasure-filled things in the world, but in the field “wife experience” connotes a washed-up aging woman who nags and hectors you, who has so many responsibilities she just doesn’t have time to be your woman, who treats you like a wayward boy who’s a ball and chain around her life; in other words, not very sexy.
By contrast, “girlfriend experience” has the connotation of a hot young girl who has nothing else to do, and nothing else she’d rather do, than worship you as her hero and shower your body and soul with love and affection, a girl who’s fun to be around and is always up for whatever good time you have in mind for the two of you.
You don’t have to be a man to see that the “girlfriend” image is a lot closer to being the perfect woman for a man. In addition to all the aforementioned “girlfriend” qualities, an agreeable and pleasing personality from a woman is like the elixir of life for a man, and this is reflected in the most rarefied realm of the escorts, who essentially offer being the perfect woman as a service.
The feminine Companion is an agreeable Woman
Agreeable and pleasing has connotations of being a perfectly obedient doormat, and while you don’t have to take it that far to approach perfection, you do have to accept that as a general rule you’ll do as your man tells you. Softly and sweetly make your likes and dislikes known to him, but let him take the lead in the relationship and make the decisions for both of you.
Reserve outright disobedience for things that are really important; a man worthy of the perfect-woman treatment, or having any woman for that matter, will not demand his woman do anything that imposes a lot of suffering or compromises her self-respect. Feminine submission is only a good thing for both partners if the man puts his woman and their relationship first.
The feminine Companion is an encouraging Woman
Aside from going with the flow and letting his hand lead you to the next pleasant sensation, what other personality traits are desirable? The perfect woman would never complain a lot, frustrate, or snap at her man; she would always keep a soft and sweet demeanor and voice. Nagging would also be forbidden; if something important needs to be brought up, she would put on her most charming voice, phrase her comments as a suggestion or a question, and add a little kiss to it at the end, perhaps with a compliment and “I believe in you” or some such.
That’s some uplifting encouragement, which is another thing that’s like the elixir of life for men. Feeding his ego with little compliments all the time, and big compliments every so often, will get him hooked on you being around; men want a woman who will be their biggest cheerleader, showering so much youthful enthusiasm on and confidence in him that he’ll really believe he can do something and be somebody.
Admire him for just being him, always be encouraging for every project and plan he sets out on, be ever-hopeful, look up to him for being so awesome, and he’ll feel so good whenever he’s around you he won’t know what hit him. That’s the feeling of “I have the best woman in the world!” that men crave.
Education for the feminine Companion
Aside from these basic personality traits, and of course physical appearance, there’s another pillar of perfect womanhood: education. Not the kind of “education” where you collect diplomas and degrees as part of some dreary “career”, no, the kind of education that permits a woman to entertain her man and talk to him intelligently, which is, much as it infuriates many modern women, the only kind of education, or career for that matter, men truly find attractive in women.
Yes, men actually like their women to be smart, clever, and intelligent; they just want it to, like the agreeable personality traits, be directed toward pleasing them. Popular culture might make it seem like men want their women to be dumb and ignorant, but deep down men want an attractive pleasing women they can actually talk to, not just have sex with. So to be a perfect woman you’d better have something to talk about and enough brains to hold a good conversation.
Once again, the fact that high-class escorts often actually advertise what hobbies they have and what topics they’re interested in or knowledgeable about might be a clue as to its importance. In this case they’re even joined by ordinary woman on dating sites, who also broadcast hobbies and interests!
While specific shared interests help a lot in compatibility, much if not most of the skills involved are quite general. To hold a good conversation about a topic one doesn’t have to be a specialist or an expert in it, but rather merely possess the general knowledge of a high-level overview. The more such topics one can do this with the better-rounded one’s education is and the better a man’s attention can be captured.
With that in mind, it’s safe to say the perfect woman would possess not a technical or specialized education but rather a general education in the liberal arts, centered on the humanities, immersing herself in the rich heritage of high culture and cultivating generalistic Renaissance-Man-style critical thinking skills that can be applied to any subject as needed. Keep in mind this education can be as formal or informal as desired; no school, let alone college, is necessary, but a will to learn is.
A pillar of this humanities background should also be the arts. Men love their women to have a creative aspect, both for having something of their own that makes them happy but also for being entertained. As old-fashioned as it may seem, routinely playing a musical instrument beautifully as your man gazes at you and takes in the sight and sound is still a very attractive quality.
Having a good singing voice he loves to listen to may also make a man’s heart melt. Gazing at you as you draw and paint is also a real pleasure for men. But perhaps no art ups attraction more than dance; being a good dancer can easily turn a girl from so-so to magnetic just by itself. If a woman can find it within herself to become artsy that will go a long way toward perfection.
Being the subject of art instead of its creator is also attractive. Many of the greatest men in history were urged to use their exceptional talents to fulfill their destinies by a feminine muse. Emma Hamilton, for example, stirred George Romney to make gorgeous portrait paintings and Lord Nelson to achieve great victories for the British cause in the Napoleonic Wars. Without women to achieve things and build things for and to make happy men wouldn’t have ever accomplished much of anything.
Lord Nelson himself said of his beloved “If there were more Emmas there would be more Nelsons”. So girls, be an Emma! If only in a small way.
Sex for the feminine Companion
Yet another pillar of perfect womanhood is the beating heart of man’s fantasies about the perfect woman, the point around which all of this orbits: sex. In order for a woman to be perfect for her man the sex he has with her must be good. But how is a woman to approach perfection in sex?
Obviously the perfect woman would have sex anytime her man wanted her, and would reciprocate his every affection with enthusiasm and passion, being easily switched into a state of craving his manhood inside her, yearning to make love to her man with all the sensual affection her body and soul can provide, finding every round of lovemaking the most fun thing in the world, enjoying strong climaxes every time’.
A tall order that is! So how can that even be approached? It’s worth noting that although men are often denied sex by their women they likely don’t want to have sex with them every day; this is despite the fact that subconscious positive associations with their women go up as sexual frequency goes up, to as high as once per day or even more. Joining with your beloved’s body and soul once or twice a day forges a stronger emotional connection than doing so once or twice a week.
So daily sex or even more is something the perfect woman should provide, which requires actively stoking the fires of her man’s erotic imagination. For sex that frequent, stoking it on a near-constant basis throughout the day would really be needed, which most men would likely not hesitate to say would be a “perfect woman” trait.
Feminine Companions stoke Desire
“Foreplay” would not be confined to the bedroom but would be a constant companion in his life, his woman caressing him and showering him with sexy-talk a lot, regularly cuddling and hugging with him, and especially giving him kisses regularly throughout the day.
So powerful is a kiss in stimulating desire that erotically dead marriages have been revived solely by practicing one 15-second-long kiss per day. Deep, passionate, long kisses every time you say hello or goodbye, good morning or good night, should be the bare minimum.
Attaching a nexus of eroticism to everything she does is also something the perfect woman would do; for example, whenever she picks up a pen she could gently caress it, place the top of it on her lips, and give her man a sultry glance before going about her business with it. Little things like that add up.
Monotony is the death of eroticism, and the perfect woman would always look her best and most appealing, but also frequently change her look to add variety to her man’s visual diet. She would use her imagination to place erotic thoughts and impressions in her man’s mind, and particularly to fulfill his sexual fantasies. Fantasy scenarios and role-play would have a central place in her arsenal of pleasure.
Sexual Companionship: it takes Two!
A demanding standard to meet, but this is perfection from a man’s perspective, remember? To approach this the woman must have her libido stoked by her man, so here as in perhaps no other area the man must step up too, by striving to be appealing to the woman as well, reciprocating the use of imagination to fulfill sexual fantasies, and showering her with affection and intimacy outside of the times they have sex.
Aside from what’s been mentioned earlier, as the man you could could have your woman sit on your lap or at your feet whenever you’re together, an excellent position to stroke her hair and caress her face and body. Give her little heartfelt presents she’ll love on a regular basis, including gifts that will make her more appealingly feminine. Above all, pursue a genuine smile from your woman; much as we are apparently loathe to admit it, there’s nothing else quite as good for a man as the feeling of having made his woman happy and basking in the resulting bright and girlish gratitude.
Women should realize this too; if your man really loves you he’ll dedicate himself to your happiness, because your smiles of girlish excitement are nourishment to the masculine soul. A girl who’s been made happy and excited is a girl who will feel receptive to lovemaking, because her soul brims over with the affection her darling man nourished her with, the knowledge she’s well taken care of and doesn’t need to worry about anything taking all the stress out of her body that inhibits the full blossoming of her feminine energy.
“Me, a feminine Companion?”
All of these traits, qualities, and attitudes in the foregoing will put a woman well on the way to becoming the best feminine companion to a man she can possibly be. She’d be a sweet girlish little darling who would be envied by women, desired by men, and admired by all deep down inside even if their jealousy would never let them admit it.
Girls, if this doesn’t describe you at least a little bit, why not? If you’ve tried it and found it wanting or, worse yet, found it aroused a seething hatred in your heart at how wrong the new you was, then obviously this path isn’t for you.
Much as I might appear to be a “men should be men and women should be women” type I’d be among the first to admit that there are significant minorities of women unsuited for traditional femininity, men for traditional masculinity, and even larger minorities who like them but are unsuited for the full-blown versions. Each individual’s nature is different and ultimately unique, and no generalization, as the foregoing is, should be allowed to trump the drives of the individual human spirit if it cuts against its grain.
But I suspect most young women haven’t explored the possibility of incorporating the feminine companionship ideal into their lives in any systematic way, and I also suspect most of them would really like it if they tried it, making men and women alike happier one interaction at a time, until looking back on it we’d all be amazed at the difference from women asking a simple question to guide their lives: “what would a perfect companion do?”
Put a Flower in your Hair and be Happy
All of this might seem too intimidating, but it can and arguably should be done step by step in a woman’s life. To begin a journey to being the most adorable sweetheart ever make a small commitment that improves yourself that you know you can keep, ideally something that will serve as a symbol of your journey, like “I will wear a flower in my hair every day from now on”.
Today it might be a flower, tomorrow a skirt, the day after learning to dance, the next day practicing your sweet soft speaking voice, but if you add new challenges as you master each aspect you’ll find yourself making real progress, and getting to a much more fulfilling place in life. I suspect the bulk of young women could come most of the way from where they are now to approaching perfection in feminine companionship if they really tried.
So, girls, why not try it out and see how you like it? Who knows, you might just end up not only improving your own life but also making the world a better place.